Hello readers and/or fellow bloggers! Hope you’re doing well and all that jazz, in today’s post I’m gonna be talking about two different things that though are pretty different topics, are very much related.
The first thing I’m going to touch on is people reacting to the fact I’m married, because not all reactions I’ve received are the same. First off, it’s hard enough for me to tell some of the closest friends I’ve ever had, partially because sometimes it’s hard to believe myself, but also because I become afraid they won’t respond well to the news. Overall I have told about nine people, and by extension those nine people have told at least seven others. I got a generally good reaction from most people who know, but there have been 2 individuals specifically (one I told and one who knows by extension) that weren’t as pleasant.
The first person who knows by extension actually wasn’t told but overheard a conversation with a friend I told and found out that way and that inidividual is my friend Zana’s father. He wasn’t rude about it even though I was told by my friend that he doesn’t support the fact I hid it from my parents or that I rushed into it (which is ironic since he pretty much did the same thing from what my friend told me). So he wasn’t telling me off or disagreeing with me but he was definitely being a little passive aggresive and brought it up most times I was in conversation with him which was very unnecessary considering my marital status has very little to do with me as a person. He said things such as “I hope that works out for you”, but considering I knew how he truly felt I sassed him back saying “Oh I’m sure it will”. He is a generally nice person, but seems to be a bit inconsiderate of others feeling’s as well as he’s just very set in his ways being always right.
The second person, who I told first hand, I honestly regret telling because though they didn’t react negatively I could tell they weren’t very supportive? They weren’t being negative but, being a romantic they said something along the lines of “When I get married it’ll have to be with someone I’ve been with for years because I want it to be for life” which implied that mine was so impulsive I never considered how long it would last. The comment was not meant negatively but I replied telling him I do intend to be with Wade for the rest of my life, and even explaining the relationship I had he couldn’t help but admit what I had was true love, yet there was so much disbelief in his voice. Maybe I’m overreacting, but I just pretty much regreted telling him it, not just for that reason but, I didn’t feel good after, usually people get super happy and congratulate me in this overjoyed way, and that’s what I love most, is the simple joy and shared happiness.
This is definitely one of the downsides to getting married young and quickly–it’s hard to tell anyone because who knows who will take you seriously and who will tell you that you’ve made a mistake. Generally I have been lucky in having so many friends who are aware of my capabilities and trust my choices, but I realize that I myself would not be super likely to grant the same token of respect for others, bringing me to my second point.
Though none of my immediate or even distant friends look to get married in the future any time soon, I often find that when I hear about couples my age getting engaged and the likes, I find it very very hard to keep myself from thinking negative thoughts. I constantly find myself just laughing or shaking my head, thinking that whatever relationship they have will most likely not last, hypocritical, I know, but I can’t help but think it. Perhaps it is me reflecting that I don’t think the choice is smart for others but what does that mean my subconscience thinks about the fact that I myself got married? Of course sometimes I have my tiny doubts but I know in my heart that I would be lost without Wade and I do want to spend the rest of my life with him.
I guess I don’t have much to add or really say to begin with on said topic, but I thought it was something I’d want to address for whatever reason. Regardless, I do believe everyone is entitled to live their life how they want to, and their choices are thier own and no one else’s influence or opinion should ever affect how you choose to lead your life. I support everyone for doing there thing, and remember, if someone thinks you’ve made a “mistake” it is your job to prove them wrong.
Mel
Young and Married 