Reactions and Being Hypocritical

Hello readers and/or fellow bloggers! Hope you’re doing well and all that jazz, in today’s post I’m gonna be talking about two different things that though are pretty different topics, are very much related.

The first thing I’m going to touch on is people reacting to the fact I’m married, because not all reactions I’ve received are the same. First off, it’s hard enough for me to tell some of the closest friends I’ve ever had, partially because sometimes it’s hard to believe myself, but also because I become afraid they won’t respond well to the news. Overall I have told about nine people, and by extension those nine people have told at least seven others. I got a generally good reaction from most people who know, but there have been 2 individuals specifically (one I told and one who knows by extension) that weren’t as pleasant.

The first person who knows by extension actually wasn’t told but overheard a conversation with a friend I told and found out that way and that inidividual is my friend Zana’s father. He wasn’t rude about it even though I was told by my friend that he doesn’t support the fact I hid it from my parents or that I rushed into it (which is ironic since he pretty much did the same thing from what my friend told me). So he wasn’t telling me off or disagreeing with me but he was definitely being a little passive aggresive and brought it up most times I was in conversation with him which was very unnecessary considering my marital status has very little to do with me as a person. He said things such as “I hope that works out for you”, but considering I knew how he truly felt I sassed him back saying “Oh I’m sure it will”. He is a generally nice person, but seems to be a bit inconsiderate of others feeling’s as well as he’s just very set in his ways being always right.

The second person, who I told first hand, I honestly regret telling because though they didn’t react negatively I could tell they weren’t very supportive? They weren’t being negative but, being a romantic they said something along the lines of “When I get married it’ll have to be with someone I’ve been with for years because I want it to be for life” which implied that mine was so impulsive I never considered how long it would last. The comment was not meant negatively but I replied telling him I do intend to be with Wade for the rest of my life, and even explaining the relationship I had he couldn’t help but admit what I had was true love, yet there was so much disbelief in his voice. Maybe I’m overreacting, but I just pretty much regreted telling him it, not just for that reason but, I didn’t feel good after, usually people get super happy and congratulate me in this overjoyed way, and that’s what I love most, is the simple joy and shared happiness.

This is definitely one of the downsides to getting married young and quickly–it’s hard to tell anyone because who knows who will take you seriously and who will tell you that you’ve made a mistake. Generally I have been lucky in having so many friends who are aware of my capabilities and trust my choices, but I realize that I myself would not be super likely to grant the same token of respect for others, bringing me to my second point.

Though none of my immediate or even distant friends look to get married in the future any time soon, I often find that when I hear about couples my age getting engaged and the likes, I find it very very hard to keep myself from thinking negative thoughts. I constantly find myself just laughing or shaking my head, thinking that whatever relationship they have will most likely not last, hypocritical, I know, but I can’t help but think it. Perhaps it is me reflecting that I don’t think the choice is smart for others but what does that mean my subconscience thinks about the fact that I myself got married? Of course sometimes I have my tiny doubts but I know in my heart that I would be lost without Wade and I do want to spend the rest of my life with him.

I guess I don’t have much to add or really say to begin with on said topic, but I thought it was something I’d want to address for whatever reason. Regardless, I do believe everyone is entitled to live their life how they want to, and their choices are thier own and no one else’s influence or opinion should ever affect how you choose to lead your life. I support everyone for doing there thing, and remember, if someone thinks you’ve made a “mistake” it is your job to prove them wrong.

Mel

 

 

The Problems I Bring to the Relationship

Hey all readers and bloggers,

I had an interesting chat with my mother last night who though doesn’t know I’m married, knows I’m very much in love and in a stable relationship for really the first time in my life. I talked to her about some things I do in the relationship that are of course negative but are strictly due to who I can’t help but be as a person. So here are problems I am fully admitting to bringing into my relationship with my partner, and why I don’t always think those problems are wrong. Continue reading “The Problems I Bring to the Relationship”

Being Away

Hello readers and/or fellow bloggers,

In this post that will certainly be shorter than the last, I’m going to speak about my experiences being away from my significant other.

Since we got married I’m with Wade more often than not, but still the problem arises that we are indeed citizens of different countries as well as I am still in the process of figuring out if or when I should apply for my visa, or if I should wait and to get into post secondary¬†school in Canada. I have been with him for 2 or 3 weeks right now, considering I haven’t been able to find a job in Canada either, but now I’m about to head back to be with my family and visit friends, meaning I’ll probably be away for a month. Ever since we became involved there has only been one time where we went more than two weeks without seeing each other, and I won’t be the first to say it, but it’s not easy.

Continue reading “Being Away”

My Story

Hey all fellow bloggers and/or readers,

So… here’s my story.

Name’s Mel, Canadian born and raised and honestly couldn’t be prouder of it. I’ve lived a fairly full and roller coaster-esqe life. Had my ups and downs in regards to family, friends, relationships, personal goals and mental health. 2016 however, was definitely my most eventful and quite honestly my best year. Some of this might seem irrelevant to the theme of the blog, but everything I recount has a purpose, so bare with me.

I walked into 2016 heartbroken, but with high hopes. The boy I had been in a long distance relationship with on and off for the past year, who we’ll call Oren, had abruptly decided even though I was moving back to finish high school with him and my other friends, that he didn’t want to wait for me any longer and started dating an old friend of mine. That wouldn’t stop me though, I would never hold myself back fully because of a boy, no matter how upset I still was over him.

At the end of January 2016, I put my life of the past two and a half years temporarily in my rears and headed back to an even older life of mine. I took the money my parents had saved for me and headed back to the city I felt was my home. I quickly found my elation living in a place of my own, but the place was nothing compared to the events of the next 5 months leading up to my graduation and departure.

Continue reading “My Story”