Being Away

Hello readers and/or fellow bloggers,

In this post that will certainly be shorter than the last, I’m going to speak about my experiences being away from my significant other.

Since we got married I’m with Wade more often than not, but still the problem arises that we are indeed citizens of different countries as well as I am still in the process of figuring out if or when I should apply for my visa, or if I should wait and to get into post secondary school in Canada. I have been with him for 2 or 3 weeks right now, considering I haven’t been able to find a job in Canada either, but now I’m about to head back to be with my family and visit friends, meaning I’ll probably be away for a month. Ever since we became involved there has only been one time where we went more than two weeks without seeing each other, and I won’t be the first to say it, but it’s not easy.

Of course as our relationship continues to progress we will probably become more adjusted to being apart for longer stretches of time, but knowing that doesn’t make separation now easier. It can be hard sometimes, when he’s too busy or tired to Skype or call, I personally go nuts having text conversations for days on end, but my temper is pretty short. Distance can be really beneficial though, it makes you appreciate what you have more when you have it back as well as it gives you the time to remind yourself of your individuality, what you are outside of your relationship.

The biggest advice I’ve given to myself and friends is that you cannot, absolutely CANNOT rely on your partner for happiness, it is unhealthy and ultimately might ruin the way you function with others as well as on your own outside of the relationship. If you cannot make your own happiness you should take time and find out how to do so so you can bring that back to your relationship and have it when you are apart from your significant other. Time by yourself is amazing! It gives you all these opportunities to do things for yourself that perhaps your significant other isn’t very interested in.

For example, I love music, playing it, singing it, listening to it, all of the above. Wade and I, we have very different tastes in music, he likes more mainstream hip-hop stuff, basically all the big radio hits. I have conformed and now enjoy that music as well because of him, but if you asked me what music I gravitate towards, I would probably say indie rock and pop as well as classic rock. Stuff like Arcade Fire and The Beatles have been my go-to music for years, though I do indulge in other artists from different genres like Childish Gambino, in general I have lost my feel for music since getting into the relationship. I don’t blame anything on Wade, just since this relationship started I play my instruments a lot less, so when we are apart, I find the time to do that kind of stuff.

No matter what, being in a serious relationship is bound to change you in one way or another. Whether you pick up traits from your partner or for some reason you act differently when socializing or anything else in between, when you are apart, as tough as it may be, that is in fact the time where you really get the chance to see who you are outside of the relationship. And I’ll tell you first hand, being apart might show you that you might not be acting true to yourself in the relationship to begin with.

So, love your partner, love yourself, miss your partner when they’re gone, but enjoy the time to yourself, and no matter what, always find your own happiness.

Mel

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