Hey all fellow bloggers and/or readers,
So… here’s my story.
Name’s Mel, Canadian born and raised and honestly couldn’t be prouder of it. I’ve lived a fairly full and roller coaster-esqe life. Had my ups and downs in regards to family, friends, relationships, personal goals and mental health. 2016 however, was definitely my most eventful and quite honestly my best year. Some of this might seem irrelevant to the theme of the blog, but everything I recount has a purpose, so bare with me.
I walked into 2016 heartbroken, but with high hopes. The boy I had been in a long distance relationship with on and off for the past year, who we’ll call Oren, had abruptly decided even though I was moving back to finish high school with him and my other friends, that he didn’t want to wait for me any longer and started dating an old friend of mine. That wouldn’t stop me though, I would never hold myself back fully because of a boy, no matter how upset I still was over him.
At the end of January 2016, I put my life of the past two and a half years temporarily in my rears and headed back to an even older life of mine. I took the money my parents had saved for me and headed back to the city I felt was my home. I quickly found my elation living in a place of my own, but the place was nothing compared to the events of the next 5 months leading up to my graduation and departure.
It took me until near the end of those 5 months, to finally get over Oren, the boy that had started this all. The boy who I never thought I’d date, who was my best friend for 2 years, who I gave my virginity to, who my mother loved more than any guy I had dated before, the guy who said he’d take me to prom, and the guy who as detached as he was, somehow managed to show his true colours to me on multiple occasions. Yeah it took me a hard 7-8 months to fully recover from that one.
Anyways though, back on track. I tried dating a super nice guy I met on Tinder, but I couldn’t make it work for a couple reasons. He was honestly so sweet and liked me so much, but I think the fact I met him online made me a little uncomfortable as well as I knew shortly after we started dating that I wasn’t over that dumb guy who left me. Shortly after I was though, wow, I feel fast and hard for another.
See, when it comes to guys, I don’t know if I could really say I have a type. On first sight? I’m definitely attracted to sweet, tall, lanky guys who are nerdy and/or a little rugged, but that’s what I’m attracted to, not what I fall in love with. I (typically) fall in love with guys who are my best friends, who I can laugh with and talk to endlessly, who can open up to me like they can’t to any other, and guys who are passionate, it doesn’t matter about what, just that they have passion. I have a very strange and complex mind, though I often spend a good chunk of my time wasting away, being unproductive, and/or daydreaming, I like to think of my life as a movie or a dream, aspiring to seize moments in pursuit of magic. That’s probably why I often find love where I’m not looking.
Early June, shortly after prom, one of my best friends and I, who I’d known since the beginning of high school, started making casual yet serious jokes about becoming physically involved. This guy, who we’ll call Galyn, is sweet and hilarious and loved by most, and, fun fact, was actually the first guy to ever have a crush on me in high school, but I never really thought I’d become involved with him. One night though, as we laid on my landlord’s kid’s trampoline, things got, well, a little steamy. At first, I thought everything that was happening would stay just kind of casual, but it very quickly became evident that there was no way we could ever just be casual fooling around. It also just so happened that we started becoming involved 2 or 3 weeks before I was due to move back in with my parents to a city two and a half hours away.
Galyn, aww man, I could never say a bad word about him even though he ended up breaking my heart, but at least with him I know everything broke his heart too. We never even ended up having sex because I had a yeast infection (thanks summer!!!! You suck!!!) that was promptly followed by my period, but honestly, we were rarely sexual. We probably only got sexual 3 times together in total in those weeks.
As my moving date neared, it became quickly evident that we had no idea what the f*ck to do. We were nuts about each other but long distance, man it hurts like hell. We came to a conclusion that we would stay monogamously romantic, but were allowed to engage sexually with others. That lasted about a total of maybe 2 weeks, until he just couldn’t handle the separation. Even though I was crying, I had seen in coming and didn’t blame him, as much as I sobbed, I could never blame him. This prompted a period of time I just straight up can’t remember because I was so brain dead, I could barely tell you a thing about late July-early August 2016, only that it got to a point where I could not fall asleep without the stuffed monkey Galyn had got me for my 18th birthday a couple months back.
Mid-August things started to look up, my best friend Zana came to visit me for a week and we had a great time, and not even two weeks after she left I was headed to go see her. In between that time though, on a late night Skype call, I don’t know if Zana convinced me or I convinced myself, but I ended up downloading Tinder again. It was mostly as a joke, maybe to have a hook up or two, but I didn’t ever think anything of it as I was still trying my best to get over Galyn, who I was planning on seeing shortly after I went to see Zana, even though I was scared as all hell.
Anyways, the day comes when I’m supposed to leave for Zana’s, and I get a ping on my Tinder, the first one I’ve had in a few days, and it’s this guy, making a comment on something I said in my bio about how I leave my life as a dream. I thought it was kind of odd, but responded regardless, and quickly stewed up a text conversation with this guy who we’ll call Wade. Now, I quickly find out Wade lives in the states, not too far from my town but still, I myself didn’t have a passport or a car, but luckily he did. He wanted to meet as soon as I got back home, which kinda weirded me out, but we skyped a couple times before I got back. He seemed a lot more confident over text then he did when we actually skyped, which was a bit weird to me but, he seemed nice.
Now, I will say I did see Galyn the last day before I headed out of town to stay with my grandpa, and there was much needed closure. Some kissing and cuddling did occur, but ever since we’ve been nothing but platonic. I care for him a lot, and I always will, I never stop caring about people, whether they’re old friends, new friends, exes where the breakup was mutual, and exes where the breakup was not, that I still don’t care for. I recognize some things are better left alone, but doesn’t mean I’ll ever stop caring about the person. I can only think of one person who has wronged me who I might still wanna punch in the face, story for another day though I guess.
So back to the main plot, not even a week passes since I had seen Galyn, and here in person, I meet Wade. We ended up getting pretty friendly earlier than I had wanted because I’ve been known for going too fast and having guys take advantage of me, but low and behold, a little more than 4 months later, well, you’ll know soon.
First impression of Wade was that he was very shy, quiet, and sweet. Going into that relationship I thought (and told my mom who might still be skeptical of Wade to this day) that it would last a couple years, be really nice for a while but it wasn’t a life-r. I mean, he didn’t even like the same kind of music as me? How could I ever marry a guy who couldn’t name The Beatles??!?As the days went on though, oh god I fell hard, I mean, ask any of my friends and they will admit hands down that Wade is the most attractive guy I’ve ever been with. There were days I couldn’t help but looks at his face or pictures of us and just smile like crazy.
I remember one day, I complained to him about my parents for the first time. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents and I know they support my choices, but they can’t always support me emotionally in the way that I need them to, and so often we argue. Wade is in the US military, so he said if ever it got bad with my parents, we could get married so he could get a place off base. I found it a little odd that he offered this to me so soon in the relationship, but it was just a “if need be” option, I of course, never thought twice about it, hell, I’m 18, why would I get married?
Around that same time though, Wade started to change, he became more joke-y and silly around me, and I didn’t really know why. Later I found out, he confessed to me that was him being himself, and that he loved me because never before had he been able to fully be himself around a girl. That my friends, is when I really started to know that this guy was going to make the list. I mean, I still don’t really understand what about me in particular is so special that he finally felt as though he could be himself around a girl, but god was I ever glad.
Christmas time came, I got my passport and we drove 20+ hours to visit his family for the holidays. I still don’t have a clear image on what they think of me, but to each their own I guess, no one will ever understand Wade and I’s relationship because we’re too dang shy around people we don’t know. He will always be a bit reserved around my family, and I his, that’s just how it’s gonna be I suppose. This was also around the time Wade had actually asked me (in a professional way, not romantic way), if I would consider marrying him. Him being in the military, if he had a spouse he would get his pay doubled, and he would get to move into an actual apartment. I remember sitting at home and thinking to myself “I’m crazy for even considering this”, but as I thought that, I couldn’t help but have a dumb smile plastered on my face, and that’s how I knew. When I find myself smiling without even being aware that I am, I know I’ve made/am making the right decision, so I agreed to it.
I never even brought this idea up to my parents, not that I’m scared of their reaction, I just didn’t think it was important to tell them, especially considering if things continued to go well, in a couple years Wade will do an actual proposal and have a real wedding. He ran the idea by some of his family, us getting married and of course, none of them really knowing me and the relationship being so fresh, they advised him against it. A month later though, shortly after our 4 month anniversary in January of 2017, an 18 year old Mel and a 20 year old Wade got married in the US of A. We didn’t really tell anyone, he told his best friend and his co-workers and I told maybe 5 of my best friends and that’s it.
A couple months later here we are, we’ve been together for 7 and a half months total, and married for 3. We argue over dumb stuff a lot, and I get easily jealous about things that shouldn’t matter, I mean hey, I am only 19 I still basically think like a teenager, but I’ve never had a relationship like this before. I found him when and where I was least expecting to, but I love him and he loves me and I hope when I say it that it reigns true, that I don’t wanna live a life without Wade in it.